More than fifteen years ago, I remember sitting at the family dinner table, savoring a mouthful of rice and tuyo (which is salted dried herring fish), using my right hand. It was a familiar ritual until he interrupted, suggesting I use cutleries instead and he expressed the disdain for the lingering aroma it brought to the house.
Silently, I complied, nodding in agreement while internally grappling with the weight of seeking his approval in every aspect of my life, from the friends I spent time with to how I presented myself.
It became a cycle of seeking validation, exhausting yet strangely familiar. But today, as I stood in the kitchen frying tuyo and relishing the thought of pairing it with garlic rice and vinegar, I felt a shift.
Apologizing to Tony for the unavoidable scent that filled the air, his response was unexpected yet profound. “I don’t care, baby. I just want you to be happy.”
In that moment, I realized the depth of his acceptance. He didn’t just tolerate me; he embraced me wholly, irrespective of cultural differences or personal quirks.
Reflecting on my journey to self-love, I recall arriving in the United States with a resolve to thrive independently, convinced I didn’t need love to feel complete. But in loving and accepting myself, I unwittingly opened the door for Tony to enter my life.
True love, I now understand, begins with self-love. It’s about embracing every facet of oneself, unapologetically. And in Tony, I found a partner who celebrates my authenticity without reservation.
So, to anyone reading this, may you find the kind of love that holds you tight, even after a breakfast of tuyo. 😃
