Love YOU first.

February 11, 2024 by GigiValdez Leave a comment

More than fifteen years ago, I remember sitting at the family dinner table, savoring a mouthful of rice and tuyo (which is salted dried herring fish), using my right hand. It was a familiar ritual until he interrupted, suggesting I use cutleries instead and he expressed the disdain for the lingering aroma it brought to the house.

Silently, I complied, nodding in agreement while internally grappling with the weight of seeking his approval in every aspect of my life, from the friends I spent time with to how I presented myself.

It became a cycle of seeking validation, exhausting yet strangely familiar. But today, as I stood in the kitchen frying tuyo and relishing the thought of pairing it with garlic rice and vinegar, I felt a shift.

Apologizing to Tony for the unavoidable scent that filled the air, his response was unexpected yet profound. “I don’t care, baby. I just want you to be happy.”

In that moment, I realized the depth of his acceptance. He didn’t just tolerate me; he embraced me wholly, irrespective of cultural differences or personal quirks.

Reflecting on my journey to self-love, I recall arriving in the United States with a resolve to thrive independently, convinced I didn’t need love to feel complete. But in loving and accepting myself, I unwittingly opened the door for Tony to enter my life.

True love, I now understand, begins with self-love. It’s about embracing every facet of oneself, unapologetically. And in Tony, I found a partner who celebrates my authenticity without reservation.

So, to anyone reading this, may you find the kind of love that holds you tight, even after a breakfast of tuyo. 😃

The Joy of Being Fearless

January 19, 2024 by GigiValdez Leave a comment

I remember being young and stupid. Making decisions that should have not been made in the first place. I reflect on a time when I embraced the freedom of being young and, yes, admittedly, a bit foolish. Those carefree days were marked by impulsive decisions and a belief in my own invincibility. I was navigating a world that seemed painted with endless possibilities.

There were weekends that I would drive my trusty Suzuki Vitara to go scuba diving in Batangas, Philippines. Learned how to sail a one-man topper boat in Taal Lake. Eventually, became one of the crew members of a couple of boats in Manila Yacht club. Also learned mountaineering, which I only did for a year. I also ran, both on the road and on a trail somewhere.

For the reasons mentioned above… I was almost always somewhere where my parents did not know exactly where I was, but they did know what I was up to. I would be gone for days. More often than not, they were against any of my outdoor activities.

“Gigi, delikado yang mga gusto mo.” (Gigi, those activities are pretty dangerous)

And they were ABSOLUTELY-F*CKING RIGHT.

However, as the years unfolded, so did my understanding of life. The mistakes that I made in my youth served more as lessons – threads that stitched together a mature version of myself. It wasn’t an easy journey. There were dicey moments when I stumbled over my own misplaced confidence.

Yet, each misstep was a step towards growth.

My fearlessness from outdoor activities disappeared when my son Sky came along. Suddenly, I was responsible for another human being.

Today’s snowy and icy road made me think of my old self. The young version of Gigi would have just drove around and not think of the consequences of a possible accident.

Now, as I navigate the world with a deeper understanding. I appreciate the beauty of growth. So, I stayed home and away from the slick roads that represented the me when I was younger.

I am still Fearless, but this time I have Wisdom in my back pocket.

Embers of Change & Navigating Homesickness

November 26, 2023 by GigiValdez Leave a comment

Life often leads us through a series of changes that can be as exhilarating as they are challenging. Sometimes these shifts bring a sense of homesickness, an ache for the familiarity of a place we hold dear. Being from The Philippines, this tug of homesickness is a constant companion, a yearning for the warmth of home, the vibrant streets, and the comforting embrace of loved ones. And this homesickness often gets worse for me during Christmas time.

Change itself is like fire—transformative, very capable of both destruction and renewal. It engulfs us, forcing us to confront the unfamiliar, leaving us scorched by the intensity of its impact. Yet, from the ashes of what was, something new emerges. Homesickness, too, is a fire—it burns with memories, kindling a desire to reconnect with the essence of where we belong. And whenever I have that yearning, I feast on Filipino comfort food or walk around the mall or a store – past times that we do when I lived in The Philippines.

Amid change and homesickness, there exists an opportunity for growth. It’s a chance to rekindle our connection with our roots while embracing the evolution within ourselves. Just as fire purifies and refines, these emotions refine our understanding of self, strengthening our resilience and nurturing a deeper appreciation for experiences that shape us.

Change demands adaptation. It’s about finding a balance between embracing the new and cherishing the old. It’s a process of learning to carry the essence of home within, allowing it to be a guiding light through the uncharted territories of life.

To those navigating the flames of change and the ache of homesickness, like me, remember, within you burns the enduring spirit that carries the Philippines’ vibrant soul. Allow this fire to illuminate your path, warming you with memories, fueling your resilience, and igniting the courage to embrace your life…. Wherever you are.